Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
