i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.