guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina