He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
bring money and cleavage
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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