singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize