someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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