If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize