Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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