I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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