break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
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I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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