If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
