I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
