Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
