So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize