I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize