i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
