He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!