so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
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Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I need a burrito and a hug.
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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