Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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