WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
