I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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