What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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