drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize