I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
