At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize