i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize