i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
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you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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