I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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