I hope mine doesn't look like that
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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