I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize