everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
