too bad you live with your parents still
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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