one might say we're banned from that church
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize