What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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