He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
