if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
