then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
