so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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