The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
