If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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