I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And then he peed in my hair
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