You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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