Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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