Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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