why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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