Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
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I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
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Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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