I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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