shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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