we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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