Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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