Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
